Back To Eden

Carlin treated me with a latte and a snack

One of my favorite magazines is The Mother Earth News. I love the gardening tips, the natural remedies to conquering bugs in the garden, the reciepes for natural health care and growing herbs. I love reading about making your home energy efficient and learning about solar panels. I like reading stories about people that "live off the grid' and how they learned to live with less and still have more. I don't really know why I get fascinated with those stories because a lot of it was the way of life when I was growing up. I know that makes it sound like I am old and from the old school. I don't think I am either of those but....I grew up with gardening, Every virtous Amish women had a large garden. We hung up the laundry on the clothes line to dry in every kind of weather except rain, it won't dry in the rain you no. We canned LOTS and LOTS of fruits and pickles and meat and ketchup and pizza sauce and soups. We picked bushels of peas until our backs ached and we begged to stop. We husked 100's of ears of corn and then froze the veggies for winter eating. Green beans and tomatoes and taters and lettuce and radishes and asparagus and rhubarb all had there places in Moms garden. We hoed and tilled and pulled weeds and got hot and sweaty every single summer! Not because it was the IN thing to do, not because it was some new fad and we were "going green". It was the way of life. Now it's the cool thing to do! How neat is that. You grow up with good working values and later it becomes the thing that "COOL" people do.




I found it amusing several years ago when I saw a magazine with then, First Lady Mrs. Obama out in the White House garden. They of course were encouraging folks to grow gardens, after all Mrs. President worked in hers. At least that was the message I got. Interestingly enough she had dress boots and gloves on, neither of which I would find as proper attire to work in my garden. Actually, I do wear gloves sometimes, when I am pulling weeds.

Same with hanging up laundry to dry instead of using the dryer. Its the new rage. Save electricity, go green! Wow. Its all old faithful tips that our grandparents did because there was no other way to do it.I find it a little amusing!

Mckenzie loving the slide

 I think its sad though how that in all this "going green" rage people get a very earthy mentality. Recently "Earth Day" was celebrated. It seems to me that more honor is given to "Mother Earth" then is actually right and proper. I don't know why they want to be so earthy and not recognize God. I mean this earth could give us nothing if God hadn't first created it all. So I think it makes more sense to thank God for this beautiful earth that He gave us and do our best to be good stewards.

And I still love to garden! I think I don't have the diligent passion that I did at some seasons in my life and I think that is because Jonathan used to be fun to work with in the garden and I miss him a  lot. I know though that when I get out there and walk behind the tiller and get the feel of dirt between my toes ( I only work in the garden in my barefeet ) and up to my ankles, the passion will be back. I'll be eager to pick the first strawberries and peas and all the other goodies that a garden produces. The boys are not always as eager to eat those fresh veggies as I am. They still get more excited about fresh chocolate chip cookies then they do about rhubarb pie. They think peas are a lot of bother because you pick a bucketful and end up with a little bowl full to eat, and the peas from Food Loin are just as good. Oh well, they still help when I ask them to.

My little flock of chickens

One thing I have noticed a lot in magazines is that they praise the idea of letting chickens graze the garden. They eat bugs and they fertilize as they go. Sounds like a perfect plan until the beautiful red tomatoes are hanging on the vine! My anger was kindled more then once last year at the chickens in the garden! They did however really help me out when my potatoes were covered with potato bugs. I cut back on the chicken feed and then invited them into the garden and I put table scraps in the tater rows. Those chickens walked up and down the rows until the bugs were all eaten or else they were to scared to be seen. It worked perfect! But they loved eating tomatoes too and then I was not happy!

There is a new method of gardening that is also the "In" thing. It is called Back to Eden. You are supposed to cover the garden in the fall with bark chips and then make your rows and plant your seeds in that and not till it under. I'm fascinated at watching some folks do it but getting the chips and mulching the whole garden is about as much work as just tilling and weeding. It is fun to read about it and it seems to make sense so I hope it isvery successful for everyone that does it.

I also have an air purifier that is called "Eden Pure". There must be something about "Eden" that we want. The "Eden" before sin came. When the air was pure and the Lord came to walk and talk with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day. When working in the garden was pure delight, no weeds and sweat, just something fun to do. Sin changed it all and now we have thorns and thistles, bugs and disease that eat up our plants.

But because of Jesus and His great love and sacrifice we have the glorious hope of freedom from this earth and its toil and pain. We can look forward to that new life in Heaven!
       Get Ready.... That Day is COMING! 

The Weeping Willow

 I lived with my family in PA, in the heart of Amish country. My parents decided to move to Central PA and they did that in April of 1978, I was 7 years old. Going to a new school for the last several weeks of the term was scary but being farmers we needed to move in the spring of the year.

I don't remember very many details about the move at all except the morning we left Lancaster, all the stuff was loaded on to the truck and I ate cereal out of a cool whip container before we got into the van to make the 3 hour road trip. That same trip can be done now in just a little over 2 hours, thanks to better roads and a higher speed limit.

ready to leave starting a new life

 There is however one memory that is seared into my mind, and I don't really know when it took place except I am assuming it was sometime before the move, like maybe sometime when we went to visit the area during the time my Dad was farm shopping. It could have been 1976 but I don't really know. Jonathan's parents lived in that area. We were riding in a van and drove into their place.Being a little Amish girl it was normal to travel in a van with a "driver" taking us. We did not own a vehicle. Whenever we went anywhere that was to far for a horse we called a "driver". Amish country has plenty of semi retired folks that like to make a little money on the side, so they do it by driving the Amish when they need to go shopping or take them on trips. It was not a deprived feeling, it was simply a way of life. So we drove on to the farm where Wilmer's lived. A white barn and house with a big weeping willow tree in the yard. There was a little boy hanging on to the willows and swinging back and forth. I don't remember anything else...I'm sure my parents talked to Wilmers, maybe we even got out of the van, I don't know. I do know that ever since that day I have wanted a weeping willow tree.

I would like to make the story better and say that the little boy was Jonathan and that it was love at first sight. That part is not clear to me. He did have several more blond haired brothers but with the age he would have been its not real likely that another brother was old enough to swing on a weeping willow tree. So its very possible that it was him.

However when I first told him the story and that I wanted a weeping willow tree, I was disappointed because he did not share my love for weeping willow trees! He said they were a dirty tree and made to much yard work, needing to clean up etc. It wasn't hard for me to tell that that was settled in his mind. I did  still remind him at times that I wanted a weeping willow tree but I always got the same response. In the spring of 2013 I asked again. Don't tell my children I was such a beggar. This time I had a plan. Could we please plant it just on the other side of the fence by the garden then it would be in the meadow, the cows could lay in the shade and I could enjoy the sight of a weeping willow tree from the house and the garden and he would not ever have to clean up the mess it made?! I was DELIGHTED when he said YES! I even stopped at several greenhouses to see if they had any but it was still to early in the season .

thank God for friends and flowers

Several weeks later we were on a cancer journey and the weeping willow tree became the least of my concerns. There were many other things crowding my mind!

I think about the tree again...a lot. I don't plan to plant one on this property. I'm afraid about when it would be big enough to enjoy I would decide to move to a smaller house, so that is pointless. But I wonder...

 Somehow I think there could be a willow tree down by the Jordan River just across from the streets of Gold and Jonathan could be sitting under it enjoying the swinging beauty and yes of course,with no mess to clean up!! And that thought makes me smile.

March was a full month. It was good too with lots of interesting things! Justin and Jessica got married! That was the best thing.I missed Jonathan a lot that day but it was special knowing that his blessing was on them. There was another person missing that day. Jessica had an Aunt who passed away from cancer in 2013. She was a good friend of ours and I thought about her a lot as well. She would have loved that day and I would have loved to share it with her! However, I do not doubt that the good times in Heaven far exceed anything on this earth. Justin and Jessica are now settled into their beautiful home several miles from my house. Some friends helped me get it clean while they were gone. Thank God for friends!I am so happy to have another daughter!Her Mother and sister were here for a few days to help her get the wedding gifts washed and her kitchen set in order.

Randalls and David were in Montana for a week to attend Mary's brother's wedding. It was strange to just have Jeremy and Carlin here with me. It makes a big difference in the food and laundry when another one is gone. That is the change that is a bit difficult for me...so few people at home!

We just passed the 2 year mark of Jonathan's passing. Two years of no pain, 2 years of talking without stroke problems, 2 years of no worries, 2 years of perfect bliss...and it will never end!

our first outside campfire supper

Sometimes we folks that have lost loved ones get the feeling that other people think we need to "just get over it and get on with life". Maybe that is just our imaginations but it is something we do face.Those things hurt terribly and they cause us to build walls around ourselves. A person told me recently that she missed her husband after 14 years of being gone so much and she cried more then she had in a long time. I don't understand grief either. It seems to be a constant process and when we go through hard things during our grief we deal with the "hard thing" maybe differently then you would because we are also missing our loved one and feel an intense need to share our problem with them but we can't. Our super sensitive mind is not always beneficial to our spirit but we do want to be what God wants. Thank you for caring! I read a quote on a widows blog that I find so true.....
                                   You never get over it, It just gets different.

I think I mentioned before that my life is never boring. This week is no exception. David has 7 friends here for several days. They have been turkey hunting every morning. So far no success but they are having fun. It almost feels like I am running a boys home but at least none of them have any special needs. Keeping them fed is not hard either. They have gone out to eat a few times and one of them brought a smoked brisket that was amazing!! It is a busy and interesting week.

 At some point you have to let go of what you thought should happen, and live in what is happening.

And Then Life Happened

I'm a mom 24/7 and have been since I was 22 years old. Of course I didn't have 5 sons at age 22 but several months after I turned 33 I had our 5th son. By that time Jonathan was in his first cancer fight . We settled into the routine of life with some extra bumps and curves because of the affects the stroke left on him. Being a dad and a business owner is always hard work, but its doubly hard when you can't talk or express yourself well. It was life.

Here we are 13 years later and, the boys have grown into fine young men. Carlin the baby will be 13 years old this month, Justin is only days away from his wedding and everyone constantly is on the move, facing new challenges, dealing with issues and coping with life....its the norm.

Mckenzie winking

Years ago when I was buried in child care, changing diapers and wiping noses a friend who is about 10 years older then me and whos children were about 10 years ahead of mine, said to me," I find that I am busier now then I was when the children were little". Honestly I was shocked! And I was also sure that she did not know how to manage her time! I did not understand how in the world I could possibly get busier then I was then. But now I am here. It is true, I am not in baby care and I don't need to get up at night with babies. I do not have those unplanned interruptions and messes to clean up.I am not settling fights and reading stories and enforcing nap time. The floor does not get strewed with toys for the baby. The table is free of play dough and paper scraps and crayons that the preschooler loved. I am not going on frantic searches for the babies pacifier or going into panic mode cuz I just discovered I'm almost out of diapers. No, those things are all behind me.

And I am busier then I ever was! I get up earlier on a regular basis then I ever did in my life. Its a result of choices that I made. I have obligations to get done, deadlines to meet, schedules to keep, and grown sons to keep happy. I have lots of shirts to iron. They think I iron to much but I don't want them to look like they don't have a mom! They can devour cookies and milk like a bunch of cookie monsters. Food gets consumed and the laundry pile grows at alarming speed!

Enjoying breakfast that the guys cooked

 I had a text message on my phone on Sat morning. It said , "Kevin and I want the kitchen in the morning". I was amazed. You see Kevin is Justins good friend and was visiting last weekend.They are both getting married and both of their girlfriends were in the area. The guys made breakfast in my kitchen. They made sausage and pancakes and scrambled eggs. They set the table pretty and dressed up all fancy and told the girls to be here at 10;30. It was really neat. I stayed out of the kitchen until they were almost finished eating then I ate the leftovers. I offered to clean up the mess too because they wanted to go do some work at Justins house. Life is interesting.

 On Valentines Day I woke up with a knot in my stomach. I wished I could just skip the day. So instead I worked like crazy. New carpet was put in Davids bedroom and I needed to clean the windows and hang new curtains and get the furniture back in place. He had been at Bible School for 6weeks and was coming home that evening.I had a lot of work to do. A friend and a sister-in-law stopped in with some chocolate for me. The boys showed up with a big bouquet of flowers. Mary and Mckenzie brought me flowers and chocolate. I'm a blessed person. David arrived home and his room was ready for him.

Jeremy just had his 18th birthday. This was the year for his golden birthday. Months ago he said that he was going to go snow boarding that day, all day! Well, he didn't. Instead he worked at Justin's house like a nice brother should. And at the end of the day he said,"Birthdays are kinda just another day". And I thought he must have grown up!

Jeremy and his cookie monster cake

Carlin is loving school. He did a research report on Health. I will be posting some of it on a later date ....I was so pleased that his teacher gave him the suggestion on health and we learned more about the evils of high fructose corn syrup which is found in many foods that are on the shelf at the grocery store. They invited the parents to school to listen to the reports and dressed up for the occasion.

Carlin reading his health report at school

The flue knocked me down last week just like it did a bunch more people. It was very bad timing because I wanted to paint at Justins house. The painting got done without me thanks to other ladies that were helping and Jessica's long days of hard work. Justin was pushing the paint roller for 12 hours one day. They got a lot done in several days!

 I stay busy and occupied all the time. Life goes on and we adjust to the changes. God is faithful all the time.

We are at the 3 year mark of the surgery that Jonathan had to remove his tumor in his upper leg behind his stomach. We were in Mexico. In the hospital the night before I was terribly afraid and felt so alone. My children were coming the next morning. Jonathan was half with it because of being on heavy pain meds. It was only God that kept me together. And it is still Him that keeps me together!

And my sweet grandbaby had her first birthday. It is truly amazing how fast this year has gone! She is a very busy lil girl and gets lots of attention from all of us. She can wink when we ask her too and gives high 5's. Life with a lil girl around is so interesting!

First birthday

Changes are a part of life. I get to choose how I deal with the changes. Honestly even the good things that  I am happy about are still hard to be ok with because changes stretch me to a new normal. But if I resist the changes I won't be happy and the changes will still happen, so I may as well accept changes and be happy. I'm glad my boys did not stay babies forever, I'm glad they grow up and move on in life, I'm glad they are happy and serving God...but when they leave home my Mother heart feels a little sad. I once heard a minister say " The two best gifts we can give our children are Roots and Wings". They tell me that I still need to work on the Wings.

The cakes were both made by Gina Stoltzfus. She has amazing talent in the cake department!