Confident With God

I have a blog post about ready to post that explains to you what has been happening in my life most of the year, so I won't detail that in this one. I haven't hit the send button for reasons like....its not the right time, its to honest, and I feel vulnerable when I let the world take a close look into my life. I think I will send it one day soon.

My life took on major change on Sept 13th when I opened Java Blend Cafe'. Those details are in another post.

 Being busy is a part of my life that I enjoy. Reading and writing are the avenues I use to release pressure and stress. I have stacks of books that I have picked up in the recent weeks that are calling for my attention. I told you before that the books I choose depend where I am in life and what I am doing. Several of the titles on my table now are, Emotional Intelligence by Dan Miller, Communication PLUS by Marita Littauer, and Taking The Risk by Ben Carson. I chose these books because I find myself in a position I never was in before....managing a business and working closely with employees. It is stretching and rewarding and I am very aware that I do not have the ability to make wise choices on my own and since I don't feel like learning everything the hard way, (by trial and error) I try to learn from people who are skilled teachers. I will never stop learning!

 Writing has taken the back seat in my life in the year 2018. That is also because of the many other things that require my attention. Often I felt the need to write, to get thoughts on paper, my fingers itched for the keyboard, I had ideas in my head, but they were squashed with more demanding things. I'm actually ok with that as well. It felt this year like God took me to places of intense focus, times when it was more important to listen then to be heard. I had soul searching days of struggle and wondering if I really understood His Plan for me. Many times I was powerless to change circumstances and could only wait on Him. And He never let me down! The answers to prayer have been" Above what I have asked for".

I also write for a ladies inspiration email group and have missed several deadlines. My weekly Budget letter in the Mennonite and Amish paper has dwindled very low. Its not because I don't care, and not because I don't want to write, its only that the demands of my new life have taken my scheduled life and thrown it to the wind. But it looks hopeful that my writing days are coming back. I'm seeing some stability and a certain form of schedule that comes with practice and learning and getting better at what one does. So even though I have been wanting to write I was also ok with this era of silence, this time of withdrawl and focusing on the demands of the day. Please pray for me, this venture is my ministry to my community and I am loving it!

The holidays always bring about that time of reflection when I look back and I deal with feelings of deep grief and genuine gratefulness, feelings of joy and sadness and the sharp pain of missing my husband. Its true that life goes on and we adjust to the new normal, but the holidays have a way of bringing back that intense desire for "what used to be". My children were here the Sunday before Christmas and we had a great time together. Randalls went to Montana for Christmas with Mary's family and plan to be back by the 5th. Justins spent part of the week in TN with Jessica's family. We spent Christmas day with some of the Zook family. Being surrounded by love is a blessing!

 We are at the threshold of the new year. There is not much time left to do things in 2018. What are your goals for 2019?  I was challenged in todays message at church to face the New Year with  confidence in God.