Grandma's Flashbacks

This to shall pass.....They will grow up before you know it....Enjoy your babies, they are so precious!I  went down memory lane recently. I had Mckenzie for several hours and so many things came back to me. I can't believe that I am already a Grandma!!

It does not seem like long ago at all when I was the mama and my boys were the babies. When teething and sleeping all night and potty training were big mountains to conquer....when teaching them to play nicely and not grab toys or hit a friend was a serious enough problem to consider before planning if I really wanted to go to the sewing or not. To all my nieces and other young mamas out there THERE IS HOPE. THEY WILL GROW UP. And 10 years or 20 is not as long as you think it is, but, well its still 10 years. I remember discussing mothering frustrations and Irene would say in her quiet motherly voice and serene smile, "This to shall pass". I wanted to roll my eyes at her. Honest! When life is full of messy diapers and babies tugging on my skirt it SEEMS like forever until they will be 20! But she should know because she had 11. And then when Rosy and I were exasperated and tired of repeated trainings Mary King would say, "It's the 99th time that counts". Sigh, do I really have to repeat this 59 more times?

I had a son that took a walk down the road one morning and a total stranger brought him too my house. I was HORRIFIED! Only bad mamas would be so negligent! I was also extremely thankful to God that the person brought him back! I shudder to think what could have happened! He wanted to go everywhere...I would be working in the garden and bent over picking beans or pulling weeds and the next moment I looked around he had disappeared. I spent so much time looking for him because he never wanted to stay close by. I wished with all my heart that he would be content in my prescence. Another son came a long and he had his own set of greviances. He didn't like it outside and would need a snack or a drink or ANYTHING to make me go to the house. He didn't like the tiller or the mower or the sweeper or bugs or flies or spiders!

I thought that one of my sons was surely going to go to school in diapers, but guess what. Just because it took much longer to get the potty training done then I thought it should doesn't mean that my fears became reality.....he was diaper free several years before school! And they get there own drinks at night and don't need a hundred million things after they are in bed. I well remember the little voice from his bed saying "I want a drink" or " I have to go potty" or "Fix my blanket".

There was a time when wiping snotty noses and washing finger printed windows and tying shoes and picking up toys was the norm. I had to race around the kitchen trying to get the floor swept with the broom because a crawling baby was sure to think the dirt pile looked like fun to play in. Or folded laundry needed to be put out of reach right away or it did not stay folded. In fact that particular thing is what brought these things to mind. I was folding laundry sitting on the floor lately and Mckenzie came crawling over the piles and they needed to be folded again! Afterwards I put it into the laundry basket ready to take upstairs but she stood up by the basket and reached her pretty little hands in there and delighted in picking it out and throwing it on the floor.

Those nights of deep sleep being woke up by little feet running fast to the bathroom and then hearing that peculiar sick noise and knowing there is a mess to clean up. And several hours later another one cries from his bed and I ran into the bedroom only to be greeted by that terrible sick stench. How on earth did 2 of them manage to come down with the stomach bug on the same night. And to top it off  Daddy says his gut hurts too. After living with Jonathan several years I realized it was normal for him to feel sick with whatever illness would plague the boys!! I decided he was good at sharing the afflictions they had. The next day while doing laundry and scrubbing sick areas I tried despertly to remember the JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD.

I remember picking up a crying baby at night time and being so tired I was afraid I would drop him.It was exhausting being a mom on duty 24/7. And then to snuggle on the chair for his feeding and he would look at me in the quiet softly lit room and give me the most precious big smile. Awe yes! This is the life for me. To be loved and needed and trusted, and the warm circles would swirl around my heart! I also remember making night time feedings a time of prayer. I would decide who I was going to pray for that night and it was amazing how fast the baby would go back to sleep and I would not be so exasperated and grouchy. Its hard to be grouchy when you are praying!

My 4 oldest boys all got the chicken pox within 5 days. Randall and Justin were starting to get better when David and Jeremy broke out. Jeremy was only 4 month old and he was loaded! It was terrible! My niece came over to help me. Remember Karen? I had made a tent in the basement for Randall and Justin to play in like little Indians because it was way to miserable to wear a lot of clothes. Karen sat in the living room and held David while I took care of Jeremy and I would put them in the bath tub often to relieve their misery. They did get well again and Jeremy has a few scars to tell the tale or maybe its David, I'm not sure anymore. It was a long time ago!

I also walked into the bathroom one day and found a powder bottle empty on the floor, and a guilty son. The floor was slippery and the second boy slipped and fell and was crying his eyes out. I don't know if the day had been bad before that but I was very frustrated and felt like a failure.

Honest, my heart goes out to mamas with fussy babies. I notice when mamas look pale and tired. I admire them when they are able to hold a fussy baby and get a drink at the faucet for the toddler and tell the older child to stay out of the cookie jar ....and she can do it with a normal voice! Young mamas have sharp brains...they remember to load the diaper bag with diapers, wipes, baby food, pacifiers, Tylenol and several changes of clothes and a snack for the toddler. Yes motherhood is so busy and so rewarding! Those hugs and smiles and "You are the best mom" and a hundred other sweet things make all the mundane things so worth it! Being a mom is so much fun and I would do it all over again. There was nothing in the world that I wished to do instead! And now ......now it is already history....just memories. Amazing .....it went by so fast! I guess Irene was right.

Randall is married already 3 years and Justin is getting married in March. Mckenzie is 9 month old and trying to walk.

 If you feel buried to your neck in mothering, if you are so tired your bones ache and you wish for a fleeting thought that you could run away for just a little while....take courage. The time is shorter then you think.
                  TIME FLIES BUT MEMORIES LAST FOREVER

For Such A Time As This

 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Do you like everything that is going on in your life? Are you ok with your surroundings, your world and your daily happenings? Or do you ever feel like me and really wish that you could do something to make life just a little more pleasant, a little less stressful and a lot more peaceful?

There are  days when I hear another bit of bad news and I feel sick of bad news! I can't handle one more email that details the cancer of another friend. I'm tired of hearing about chemo and sickness and mouth sores and fatigue and hair loss and loss of appetite and hospital stays and bad days. I wish the news would not be full of the election stress and corruption. The suffering around our world is incredible and it is very disheartening! The devastation caused by hurricane Matthew is just unreal! Is there anything that I can do to make a difference for anyone?

I thought about Esther the orphan girl. Her cousin begged her to plead to the king for her people who were doomed to death. I can only imagine her hesitance. She was scared, it could mean death to go to the King uninvited. She was only one voice. Could it possibly make a difference in this impossible situation? However, she prayed, God's people prayed and fasted and her people were saved! She was in the kingdom for that specific time.

 Are you in your spot for a specific reason? Do you feel forgotten or overlooked, like maybe God is not watching at the moment? Do you feel like there is so much bad news, so much evil that things are hopelessly hopeless?It is a really bad idea to dwell on the bad news and focus on the evil! Esther could have done that too. She could have locked herself inside her house and prayed and hoped it would change. She did so much more then that! She took action! She did something! It is true, I can't even begin to heal all the hurts, to feed the hungry or give shelter to the homeless. I can't save the refugees or takeaway the pain of the suffering. But I can pray and I can touch the hurting around me. Our modern technology leaves no reason for excuse to contact someone by text or phone or email etc.We can send hope to the weary in many different ways. Is your voice sending hope and giving courage or is it easier to add to the gloom? Are you doing what God meant for you to be doing in this time that you are living? Did God place you in your specific spot for a reason? You must believe that He did! You did not just happen, you were not overlooked, you have a purpose and God has a Plan!We also must believe that God is working even when He seems silent. There are many things in life that we do not understand. Unless I believe that God is Perfect and He has our best in mind, unless I believe that He sees the whole picture and is in total control, then all the hardships will seem unfair and hopeless and cruel. I have to BELIEVE and TRUST and BE ASSURED that God is in TOTAL CONTROL even when it does not make sense.

October is Jonathan's birthday month. I was in the garden that day picking all the leftover peppers and remembering his love for hot peppers. For some reason he loved to test and see how hot he could take stuff. Once he bit into a jalopeno pepper in the garden. It was pretty hot! Another time he threatened to bite into a habanero and he asked me if I thought it would be very hot. Well, I don't get a lot of pleasure from burning my mouth so of course I told him it was very hot and I also added that I would not feel sorry for him if it was terrible. He didn't try it.My friend Rosy made a super hot relish that he loved even tho his nose would run and his eyes would water. The boys used to tell him that they thought the stroke must have messed up his sense of taste. Shortly after we got married he used to buy a hot pickled mix from the grocery store. I decided to put my own concoction together  and he loved it. I have canned HOT MIX ever since. It was a mixture of cauliflower, carrots cucumbers and then some hot peppers. I used Mrs. Wages Kosher Dill pickle mix for the brine and then I canned it . We have eaten 100's of quarts of hot mix over the years.

I have many memories that come flooding back to me on quiet days. I love memories! Memories make me smile but they also make me feel sad because a memory is remembering the past. It is gone!So a day of memories can be filled with bitter sweet feelings. Sweet because the memory was special, but bitter in knowing that there will be no more. But really in all honesty, the memories are so sweet that those days are only slightly painful.

                  I NEED COURAGE AND WISDOM AND ACCEPTANCE