Living Life

The long winter was a bit depressing at times but it did not freeze my computer.....
I did not loose my mood to write but I was blank on what to write....
I even started writing several times but then I deleted all of it because it was just not worth reading...
My brain was filled with many busy thoughts that I could not write.
My brain was storming ideas that were not stories or challenging thoughts.

Mckenzie and Carlin

So there, I'm telling you why I was silent for so long. For the past entire year I was considering and praying much about  a venture that Jonathan and I talked about sometimes, but I don't know if I ever really believed it would actually happen. However, to make a long story short I am excited to say that I will be opening a coffee shop in about a month. I bought a building that used to be a small diner and we are renovating it. The boys have put many hours into that place and it is finally starting to look like we are getting somewhere. My bakery that I have here at home will be moved to the coffee shop and I will continue to wholesale fried pies like I have been doing for the past 6 years. So you can only imagine how full of STUFF my brain is, and it doesn't happen to be writing ideas! We still have plenty to do before we can open but it is fun to see the fresh painted walls, new windows and fresh look! There are many things that I am nervous about and being an employer is one of them. With not having any girls of my own  and now suddenly knowing how to manage a handful of them...well that part looks a bit scary. Over all though I am excited and apprehensive and I'm trusting totally on God. I could tell you many stories of God's leading in this venture but since they feel a bit personel you will need to come have coffee with me where we can chat in person. In the meantime I am in constant need of prayers!

I will share why I have decided to pursue a coffee shop. I have been wholesaling fried pies for several years and my bakery building is getting to small. Also the orders are getting to big to comfortably take care of it myself. I do have 2 girls that come and help to make them but I do all the before and after work which of course is the hardest work. Making them is the fun part. Since a coffee shop thought had already been planted in my brain it started to sprout and grow when a building became available that is close by. Somewhere in my brain I am also thinking about my future and I'm also very aware that living alone might not be many years down the road and I wanted to have something with purpose to keep me occupied. I am not the Mennonite grandma that will sit at a quilt and quilt the day away! Oh no! I don't even like to quilt at our sisters sewing, I just do it sometimes to act my age! And I don't relish the thought of living in a little house in the woods where I can watch birds and bears. No , I much prefer a bit noisier life then that and  I enjoy making food and I love being with people. So I really want this coffee shop to be a little mission where I can make good food and shine God's love into this community. I tell my children that I will be easier to care for if I am occupied! They totally support me and I am blessed.

Mckenzie and Aviana

Aside from the coffee shop I am a grandma with more big news! Randall's were blessed with another little girl named Aviana Joy. She is 2 weeks old now and a sweet little miss. Her big sister loves her so much! Justin's are expecting a baby as well! I am loving this grandma world! Mckenzie is 2 and has wrapped herself tight around my heart. She loves washing dishes with me and stirring up whatever I am mixing at the counter. She plays in the sandbox and loves when Carlin jumps on the trampoline with her and takes her on bike rides. Her uncles adore her and she gets lots and lots of attention. And we can't help but remember that she is missing a super good grandpa! Jonathan would be so proud of her!

We passed several milestones in the past several months. Jonathan's stroke and loss of speech in 2004, Carlin's 14th birthday and the memories that surround his birth. Jonathan was just out of the hospital for a month when Carlin was born and he could not talk at all. So very many memories that bring back the pain and the keen sense of loss. And then the return of cancer in 2013, the decisions, the fear and the never failing Grace that flowed from our merciful God...it simply cannot be described! 2015 brought the reality of loosing the cancer fight and 3 years ago on April 5th our loss was his Gain! God has been Faithful! Yes, there are still tears, there are still times of intense longings and many times of simply surrendering to God's plan yet again. But we trust our God.

Gifts that came to my door

It's spring time and time to get into the soil. The soft dirt between my toes and dirty finger nails. Its time to walk behind the tiller and find fat earthworms that are doing good deeds down there. All of those things sound inviting but....this year. This year I am doing what my children have begged me to do for several years. My garden will not be very big. In fact I don't even feel like planting much at all. The biggest deciding factor was that with the coffee shop just starting I am afraid I will not enjoy the garden and it will cause me stress if I don't have time to work in it. The other reason is that it is simply way to big for 4 people. I thought I was going to fill it with corn and then sell the corn because there is always someone that wants corn, but if I do that then we still need to weed it. And that doesn't happen to be a hobby around here!! It is better to be flexible and accept changes even if it affects things I love to do. I have planted some things in the garden and I always plant several tomatoe plants in pots and put them on the deck as well as a pepper plant and a cucumber plant and some lettuce. There is nothing better then growing salad right outside the door!

Another new venture I started in Jan was going to Grief Share classes. I had been encouraged by several widows to go. I was extremely hesitant but I finally mustered up enough courage. It was a stretch for me to sit with total strangers and share my story however as time went on I did enjoy it. Unfortunately I dropped out before the 13 classes were complete because I had to many other pressing things to do after we started working at the coffee shop. I hope to make those classes available in my coffee shop eventually and I also want to start some kind of widows ministry as God opens the doors.

Those are some of  the things that have been happening around here. Tell me what is going on with you. I love to hear your comments!