For Better or For Worse

In health and in sickness, for rich or for poor, for better or for wor
se, till my death I will stand by you.

July 6th 1991

On that great and glorious day when you said your vows to the one that you loved with all your heart, the one that you saw as your perfect companion, and the one that would share all the joys and sorrows of your life with you, did you think about the parting? Of course you did not! At least not enough to dim the joy of the moment. Life looked so good, so full and rich and promising. You know the saying," We don't got much but we got LOVE and that's all we need." I love you so much I could live anywhere as long as I'm with you. Ah, those words are so sweet! I remember in our dating that we talked about the pain of parting.....is the loving worth it if we have to go through the pain of parting? We chose to go on with the loving and take the risk of a painful parting. Many more young lovers are taking the risk of parting. Statistics are not pretty on the subject of death. Every year 800,000 people are widowed and 700,000 of them are women who lost their husbands. Choosing to love is a high risk indeed but let me assure you it is well worth the risk!

It is true that on our wedding day we do not fret about the parting date and we should not either. It is a day of joy and I have always loved going to weddings and seeing the happy couple. And no, I am not one of these people that will say that I feel sorry for the newlyweds, that  the adjustments and newness is hard and its good when the first year is past.NO! I would never say that and I never think that either. The wedding day is an adventure filled with heart pounding anticipation and I think the young lovers have so much to look forward to. Of course it gets better as you understand each others quirks and see the side of them that was mostly hidden before and you live with them longer. At least its supposed to get better and I'm truly sorry if your experience is otherwise. Of course there are differences and issues to work through. Two different people will not see eye to eye automatically, that's what communication is for. I don't mean talking either. I mean talking and LISTENING, feeling the pain or the joy and sharing it, I mean being connected by the same airwaves, and understanding and supporting and standing up for each other, never saying a negative word about the other to anyone EVER, being so in tune that being together in silence is comforting. Don't you just love to see the loving sparkle in a older couples eyes as they talk to each other. I do! I love seeing excited young lovers but I love even more to see older couples that just love to be together!

Why am I on this subject? Because on Wed, July 6th is supposed to be our 25th wedding anniversary. Its the day that many couples do special things. Its a celebration and very special! For many years I asked God to please give us at least 25 years. He didn't. We didn't make it quite to 24. We've been robbed of our Golden Years together and that makes me sad. I was not ready for this adjustment of aloneness, I still had dreams to live with him for many years, things to accomplish, and this title of widow is just not a part of my dreams but I have lived the title now for 15 months and it  is becoming the norm with a lot of curves and bumps. I'm still dealing with the reality of shattered dreams the stark awareness that life is forever changed and the full assurance of the Faithfulness of God.

Marty spent a great week with us

I have also come to believe that a good marriage is never long enough even if it was 50 years. My Mother's sadness was just as deep as mine even tho' they had 50 years. The time for parting is never right, we are never ready for that. We cannot control that, but we can control how we live those years together. It's up to us how we respond to life and how we relate to our spouse, that power is yours. And so, let me encourage you to live each day with the joy of togetherness, don't ever take each other for granted and do the things that actually matter. Love deeply, make good memories, let every day be the day to show your spouse why you chose him. Some day you to will get that title of "Widow".Being able to look back with warm memories and remembering the love we shared is truly the best way to cope with the pain of parting.

How are you dealing with your disappointments? Is God showing himself strong in your life? Are you trusting His plan when it is different then yours? Do you believe that He knows what He is doing? Are you living with your spouse and sharing the deep love that you always wanted? It really is possible to Keep your vows...in health and in sickness for better or for worse till death do us part.

                                                                                       For rich or for poor under skies grey and
                                                                                        blue, till your death God has helped us
                                                                                        through....Thank you Jesus!!